Featured,  Manage the Mess

4 Ways To Take Your “Me-Time” Like A Boss

If you’re anything like me, taking time for yourself can feel a bit unnatural and awkward when you’re used to occupying the last spot on the to-do list, that is, assuming you’ve even made it on. You’re gonna need to push past all that uncomfortable, though, because today I’m not just gonna tell you to pencil yourself in I’m gonna make sure you know 4 ways to do take your “Me-Time” like a BOSS!



Okay so dress up for me means nixing my yoga pants for actual jeans and throwing my “nice” sweat jacket over my milk stained tank top (because the baby cried as I left and I leaked as he cried) but still, it’s a step up from my norm. I’m still a work in progress when it comes to my wardrobe, or lack thereof, so don’t take your example straight from me but even a shmear of rosy lipstick and some stunner shades will up your BOSS factor instantly. Think of it as a self date, impress yourself.


You’re free! While sitting in a parking lot 2 blocks from your house can definitely give you some peace in a pinch if you’ve got an hour or two, actually do something that’s gonna give you a recharge. Go get a pedicure, enjoy some real food. I have been known to go out for lunch and leave the kids at home with simple sandwiches; and don’t you start with the, “Aww, those poor kids!”, peanut butter and jelly and grilled cheese builds character, they’re fine. Eating a meal without hands on your plate and your name on repeat is not a luxury, it’s a necessity now and again. Trust me, you’ll never feel more like a BOSS than when you make sure the griddle is nice and hot, hand daddy the cheese and shout, “The kids like em extra crispy” as you run out the door. 😉


Do you hide all evidence of enjoying anything without your kids? Do you toss to-go boxes in a dumpster 3 blocks from your house, keep gum in the glove box to disguise the smell of chocolate on your breathe, massage the smile from your face and walk back in the door like you just came from scooping dog poop? Me too, until I stopped. I’m not saying you have to rub it in their face, but who does it serve sneaking around like a CIA operative, pretending that having fun on our own is some ultimate betrayal. My youngest daughter may still ugly face cry like I’m cheating on her but she’ll begin to understand, just like her older sister now does, and hopefully when they become mothers themselves my example of self care will be engrained somewhere. I’m not gonna lie though, if I happen to go to Applebees I do not tell my kids. It’s like taking your new flame to the spot where you and your ex shared your first kiss, even I am not BOSS enough to handle that meltdown; yet. 😉


This one is a lot easier said than done but if you’re gonna be a BOSS you’ve got to go there. You’ve gotta stone cold slay that mocha frappuccino and walk away, shades and lips on fleek, like you didn’t just commit a coffee crime. Feeling bad defeats the whole purpose! You fill your cup only to drain it with guilt before you even finish the whipped cream. I promise it gets easier each time, just remind yourself that you’re really doing this for them. If they drive you mad who will be there to make them smiley face pancakes and make sure their purple butterfly shirt is clean for the 8th day in a row? No one else is doing all of that ridiculousness but us so use someone in your support system and go catch the latest romantic comedy and jumbo size all your goodies, you deserve it!

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Hi, I'm Xavia, The Messiful Mama. I am the mother of 4 amazing, spirited children who save my life everyday. I pour myself into parenting and, although, there are plenty of days where that effort is full of chaos and drama and sometimes even hair pulling, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.


    • Messiful Mama

      It is. It’s not something that always comes easy but it really is worth it 😉

  • Emma {Emma's Little Kitchen}

    Dress up- YES! A couple of my friends and I were talking this week about how we felt in a rut feeling scruffy and ALWAYS wearing jeans that may have unidentifiable baby stains on them… so on Thursday we are making a pact to get dressed up and go out for cocktails 🙂

    • Messiful Mama

      I’m headed to wash a pair of jeans covered in a spinach/mango/pear baby pouch right now lol. Only reason I can identify it is because I had to clean up the empty pouch along with my pants :-\ Being stain free for an evening of cocktails sounds amazing, hope you and your girlfriends enjoy your kiddie-free time!

  • MovieLover

    I’ve always felt guilty for having me-time. But thank you for making me feel a little better about it.

    • Messiful Mama

      You’re welcome, letting go of guilt was really tough at first but it gets easier and easier I promise 😉

  • Clare Speer

    Never feel guilty – I used to feel somewhat guilty when I was a working busy mom of two small girls and once in a while meet my girlfriends for lunch – but it’s a necessary part of rest and restoration! Enjoy girl time, free time, alone time – it helps so much in the long run! Thanks for this great remember!

    • Messiful Mama

      It’s tough not to feel guilty but enjoying the time really does help in the long run; we’re better for ourselves so we’re better for them.

  • Rachel

    Love this! Agree that it’s so important to take care of yourself!

    • Messiful Mama

      Thank Rachel! I find that life runs a lot smoother when we make time for self-care.

  • Daniela

    Dress Up is my favorite tip! I always feel so much better when I dress how I want to feel. Some days, though, I just want to feel comfy and so a sweatshirt and jeans is my “dressing up” 🙂

    • Messiful Mama

      My “dressing up” isn’t always fancy but even changing from house pants into a pair of jeans can make me feel so much better sometimes. 🙂