The Messiful Mama - Lifestyle Blog by Xavia Omega
Manage the Mess

The Day After- What Do We Tell Our Kids

The Messiful Mama - Lifestyle Blog by Xavia Omega

The night before last I was very Cavalier, suggesting that everyone go and make a cocktail and chill out. I went to bed shortly after, not a care in the world. I have to admit, I Never thought that there were enough people in this country that would actually elect someone so hateful and clearly unfit. I knew there were people, and that racism was still an issue, but seeing all that red on the map made me sick to my stomach. I was Totally confident that I would wake up the next morning and ease my daughters’ fears over the possibility of this man being elected, by telling them he had not. Instead, I woke up and watched my girls for over an hour, eating breakfast and getting dressed, trying to hold back tears so I could be Strong when I told them. It’s totally okay to be sad in front of our kids, but I didn’t want to be a Complete mess.

“How do I explain to my children, that someone who has openly mocked, incited violence against, and degraded millions is now in line to be President? How do I even explain how this was even possible?”

Well, I pulled it together and here’s what I told my kids.

Hate has not won, because it is not over!

This election was a battle, but it is not representation of the fight as a Whole. Humanity is stepping up. We are demanding change. And, we are turning the tides with the Power of love. I am hopeful that this minor set back was actually a set up to burst all the bubbles we’ve found so Comfortable and easy to function within. Anyone, including myself, that has been adamant about changing the climate of our country should have just had our internal fire turned into a Blaze. There is work to be done, the stakes are high, and small movements of opposition are not enough. Our fighters our helpers have been inspired, we should find some peace and encouragement in that, and share it with our children.

Sometimes it is darkest before the dawn.

Have you ever shampooed your carpet? I mean shampooed them Personally, by yourself. It something I’ve become a bit obsessed with because it never ceases to amaze me how Incredibly dirty they are and we don’t even realize it; Until you dump the water. Sometimes all the gunk has to rise to the surface in order for it to be washed away. All this hate has been there, Deep in our fibers but this election acted as the machine that we will use to pull all the dirt to the surface. We will then flush it down the toilet and put the machine in a dark closet somewhere. If you’re not into shampooing it might be easier to explain that our government is very flawed and sometimes something has to Completely burn to ashes for something to be born anew. The flame has been lit but We are the phoenix. We will rise from the ashes and be something completely new and full of a light that Shines from the inside in a way that cannot be dimmed.

The love really does outweigh the hate.

While there may have been millions who voted for him they were actually Outnumbered by those who voted against. (Again , I might reference the flaws of the government) The world is changing. Love is the majority, even though it may not seem like it just yet. It may not be comforting but I think it also helps to share with them the understanding that many people who are not coming from a place of love are not coming from completely hateful place either. Many are full of fear and misunderstanding. It is our job as leaders of light to help them, not attack them. I found myself walking around yesterday looking at every white person I passed thinking, “Is this one of them that hates me? Would they flog me if they could?” But I Refuse to walk around with that fear and discount the many white people, some of whom I have the privilege to know personally, who are not only standing up, but Sacrificing some of their own freedoms in the process. I will do everything in my power to help my children see things from that same angle. Love will trump fear!

I will protect them.

Some people may have seen me go mama bear, my friend call it O.G. Mama Johnson, but if anyone knows it’s my children. I will claim crazy in a heartbeat and go to any length to protect my babies, as will their father, and my children need to Remember that. Even though none of us have complete control over anything in this world, all of our children need to remember that they can trust in their parents and loving adults around them even if they feel right now that they can not trust in our government.

He’s not president yet!

Okay, so I didn’t tell them that, but I was thinking it, and we’re all adults so I can share Right? I don’t want to give the babies a sense of false hope, but let’s be real. It is not Completely outlandish to think that he many impeach himself long before he has a chance to be sworn in. It may not be appropriate to tell my kids, but it gives me a little Comfort that it’s a very real possibility.

Even if the Shock hasn’t worn off, I think many of us our trying to settle in to the reality of the moment. I was terrified at first, but now I am sure that we will rise and overcome. I know we can guide our kids through this time as well.


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Hi, I'm Xavia, The Messiful Mama. I am the mother of 4 amazing, spirited children who save my life everyday. I pour myself into parenting and, although, there are plenty of days where that effort is full of chaos and drama and sometimes even hair pulling, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.