Confess the Mess,  Uncategorized




I’m #notaholidaymom, and that’s okay.

For all my mamas who can’t get enough, don’t worry I’m not here to feud. If you have huge Tupperware bins filled with inflatables and reindeer, and you start counting down the Fridays til’ in August, We can still be cool. We don’t need to step into the gauntlet and throw down, it’s not that serious. I’m simply here to let the less than crafty mamas, who prefer to use the shits they give on things like chocolate and coffee, know that it’s okay. You do not have to pretend to like the holidays anymore. I’m here for you.

I don’t like carving pumpkins! There, I said it, stone me if you must. Nothing about that process appeals to me and I’m not going to pretend it does. Pumpkin picking, I can get down with; being out in nature experiencing autumn. The chill in the air and that Crisp woodsy, best smell ever.  That sort of holidaying feels natural and Authentic to me, but once that baby reaches the house it can chill outside like all the other garden vegetables. If the kids want to decorate them or get crafty I let them go for it, I’m not trying to kill anyone’s buzz. When it comes to carving, though, I end up doing all the work. No, thank you! They don’t want to get their hands goopy. They want an intricate design but don’t quite have the dexterity to pull it off. And, they lose interest the moment it’s done. At least if they go at it with paint or googly eyes they’re actually having some fun, and Fun is fine!

Basically, it’s all the Extraness.  What does me playing with an elf at night have to do with the miracle of Christmas? I understand the thrill of it all and I’m not going to lie, and say I don’t do anything purely because of the joy and excitement it brings my kids, but I don’t have to make my October-December miserable because I’m doing so many things I Genuinely can’t stand. That hour after the kids go to sleep is going to be spent eating chocolate and watching inappropriate television, not making it appear as though the elf pooped peppermints in the potty. I’m drawing the line. All my deceitful, mama ninja energy, I’m saving that for supporting the fantasy of Santa. I’ll keep a little of the Magic alive, but I don’t have time for any other characters.

So this year, I’m sticking to what I do best. If I’m having fun everyone is going to be happier anyway. I’m gonna make delicious meals, bake sugar cookies with my younger 3 and Watch Elf at least 10 times. We’ll enjoy new holiday pajamas, slippers and snuggles, and hot cocoa by Christmas light. I’m gonna let them wear their Halloween costumes every day for 4 months, and I’m gonna keep those babies clean. We can give thanks and express gratitude while we eat a meal that has nothing to do with mashed potatoes and gravy. I’m really not a scrooge, I don’t completely hate the season. I’m just keeping myself on that to-do. I do so much for my family this time of year, and it’s so easy to get overwhelmed and burnt out. I can cut back and opt out here and there, on things that Don’t truly matter, without feeling the least bit guilty. You can too!

Head over to Instagram or Messiful Mama Friends and share which holiday extra you’re letting go of. Use the hashtag #notaholidaymom .

Stay Messiful xoxox

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Hi, I'm Xavia, The Messiful Mama. I am the mother of 4 amazing, spirited children who save my life everyday. I pour myself into parenting and, although, there are plenty of days where that effort is full of chaos and drama and sometimes even hair pulling, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.