5 Places You Might Find a M.F.F


No, not a Mother Fu*@&#$ friend, a Messiful Friend Forever!

I love that I can call my sister and ask her what she’s doing and she will say, “Wiping Butts” and I will Smile and my day will get just a Little Bit Brighter. Our mess just feels a lot less Ridiculous when we have someone to Share it with; someone who really Get’s It!

If you don’t have one you really need to Get One!

I’m blessed to have several sisters, 4 of them mothers. Unfortunately, all of them live pretty far away and while they’re a great long distance support you really do need someone who can Jump In and drop a snack off to your kid, cuz you forgot, and your on your way to a business meeting 2 hours away. A mama who Will Call and remind you of the “build a log cabin” assignment, due tomorrow, you didn’t even know existed. A friend who can Be at your doorstep in 20 minutes with some quality chocolate and a listening ear when you have the “my daughter just entered puberty” meltdown. You need a mama who can actually be there physically when there’s a need for Tangible Assistance. Let’s face it, we all need an extra hand with our mess at some point. Build relationships and don’t be afraid to Lean on them when you need to; just make sure to make it a Two way street. 😉 I’m blessed to have a few local mamas as well but I can be a bit of an introvert so actually reaching out and making those connections is challenging for me as as well. 

If you don’t have a local MFF, here are a few places you might find one.

Grocery Store

We see mom’s there all the time but we Seldom Connect. If you’re feeling super brave you can Ignite a relationship in the yogurt isle, but if you’re anything like me you run into the same mom’s quite often and there is the more subtle option of Slowly building a rapport. If you see a toddler having a melt down, first Thank God it’s not yours, then offer a warm smile and any assistance that may be appropriate at the time. So many mothers feel like the elephant in the room when they’re out and about with wild ‘n’ crazy kids, A friendly gesture can mean the world. (and just might lead to a new Messiful friendship) 😉


I absolutely love libraries, except when I can’t find a book and the toll keeps climbing. For the most part, though, we keep a close eye on our books and we manage to take advantage of some of the Amazing social opportunities. Stop by your local library and Pick up this month’s brochure, I’m sure you’ll find a toddler story time or kid craft that will appeal. The really nice thing about these activities is that they’re really Low key so it feels pretty natural to spark conversation and most often these are mom’s From your community so it can make connecting easier.

Local Mom Groups

I’ll admit, for me, these are a little intimidating. I always imagine the moms to be perfectly put together with all their ducks in a cute little row, but I’ve realized that All moms have some sort of mess that they’re managing. (whether we see it or not) One of the mom’s that runs the group in my area is so amazing and down to Earth, not at all what I expected. Jump on Google and Find one in your area.

Kid Activities

In general, if My kid vibes with another kid I generally vibe with their mother. From football to girl scouts to choir practice, whatever activity your child is into is an Opportunity to meet moms, so be on the lookout. A mom walked up to me at my daughters curriculum night and Introduced herself and started talking. I loved her instantly. I probably would never have the nerve to Create a convo out of thin PTA scented air, but I so appreciated that she did. I don’t even know if our kids vibe because they haven’t met, but I’m sure they will because she had MFF written all over her. We see these moms all the time, take advantage and Chat it up!

Facebook Groups

I really encourage mamas to not only beautify their own mess but to Connect with other moms who are doing the very same thing. There are a lot of awesome groups out there, including mine 😉 Messiful Mama Friends. Post, like, and engage with one another. While I still strongly advocate for finding a local connection there is still A lot of support to be found online.

We all have friends in different circles, whether they be close or just acquaintances, but If they don’t have kids it’s likely that they Just don’t understand most of what you deal with on a daily basis. Not having a good mama gal pal can feel pretty isolating; speaking from experience here. If you’ve got an awesome MFF, head over to the group and give her a shout out. If not, Set the intention to seek one out.

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Hi, I'm Xavia, The Messiful Mama. I am the mother of 4 amazing, spirited children who save my life everyday. I pour myself into parenting and, although, there are plenty of days where that effort is full of chaos and drama and sometimes even hair pulling, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.