Featured,  Mama Says...

Fresh Outta Ducks

The further I get down my life’s journey, the less I feel like I have to prove myself to Anyone. Those who know me, know me. Those who want to, will. Those who don’ either won’t care, or they’ll make something up. Whichever category people fall into, none of their opinions really matter. It doesn’t matter what they think, or expect of me, and none of them Define me. It’s not a lesson that I think they’ll absorb right away, and it certainly isn’t lesson that I’ve mastered, but I still have to Plant the seed. The question is, how? How do I help my kids develop the same attitude while they’re still young?

Well, for starters, I’m not gonna go around Flaunting my ducks when I want my children to get rid of any that try to swim around in their pond. I’m not completely impenetrable, but I have to take criticism like a Boss in front of my babes. My daughter was very candid when she voluntarily told me one of the girls in the neighborhood doesn’t  like me. Now in this particular case I could truly care less. A kid doesn’t like me when I’m adulting, no big deal, but there have been many daggers that did Pierce. No matter how insecure I feel in those moments I still have to stay composed and hold my ground.  What my daughter shared with me was a great chance, though, to explain to her that there are going to be people that don’t like her and that’s Completely okay. It’s not your job to make people like you. Just hit the mute button and continue being the most genuine version of yourself. Your tribe will find you, and they will like you for exactly who you are.

If I want her to absorb that lesson I have to make sure that I’m Authentically me, all the time. Even when everyone around me is very sure I shouldn’t be. Sometimes I sing my words in the middle of a conversation. Sometimes I bring home all the plastic cups from Moe’s because I’m sure they won’t be recycled, but should be. Sometimes I learn the newest dances and threaten to “Ju Ju on the beat” and post it on Youtube. I sneak organic popcorn into movies, recycle wrapping paper, and and use natural deodorant . They think I’m weird, and corny, and I embarrass them all the time, but One day I hope they’ll thank me for “Miyagi-ing” them into the freedom that comes with dropping any expectations but your own.

I also have to Resist the urge to condemn others when they’re being 100% themselves, and it’s 100% of something I don’t understand or agree with. I adamantly practice a life without judgment,  but that doesn’t mean my ego doesn’t seduce and pull me into it’s dark and dirty world. There are times when I see people being true to themselves and wonder why in the world they’re wearing shorts that used to be leggings over leggings that are still leggings, with a shirt that doesn’t match either. Then I remind myself, that she’s my daughter, and she is my one child that is Naturally authentic, filter-less, and free. Then I smile and compliment her because I absolutely love that she never had any ducks in the first place.

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Hi, I'm Xavia, The Messiful Mama. I am the mother of 4 amazing, spirited children who save my life everyday. I pour myself into parenting and, although, there are plenty of days where that effort is full of chaos and drama and sometimes even hair pulling, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.