Messiful Mama

Hi, I'm Xavia, The Messiful Mama. I am the mother of 4 amazing, spirited children who save my life everyday. I pour myself into parenting and, although, there are plenty of days where that effort is full of chaos and drama and sometimes even hair pulling, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

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    What The Cup?!

    Cupping wasn’t even really on my radar until it was suggested to me mid massage, but I so wish I would have known about it a long time ago. So, here I am, putting it on your radar because it’s a self-care cup of awesome that you’ve gotta try. I’ve been getting regular massages for a little over a year to help with the recovery of my shoulder after surgery; two surgeries actually. It’s been super helpful, and luckily I’ve found someone who’s good at getting deep down in the tissue, but nothing compares to these amazing little cups that literally suck the stress right out of you. So what…

  • Featured

    Maybe I’m Too Difficult

    Or maybe I’m not. Today’s Messiful Me–Time is being brought to you by a cup of cocoa, the color “Mama–genta”, and the idea of “Being Difficult” I went to fill my mama cup with a little mani, but none of the colors were speaking to me. I wanted purple, but not a super deep purple. I kinda wanted pink. I kinda wanted red. I wanted blue, but not because I really wanted blue. I just love blue so I kept getting stuck on the shade. I was being “Difficult”. Or was I. My whole life I’ve heard about how I’m being too difficult. How I need to stop being so…

  • Confess the Mess,  Featured,  Uncategorized

    This Is Why Little Girls Never Get Tired Of Talking

    They never get tired because, as a little girl, I never got tired. I drove my mother nuts, so it only stands to reason that they won’t shut up until they drive me off the edge. Their daughters will extend the same verbal generosity, I’m sure. The cycle is genius. Well played karma, well played! Call it Wishful thinking, but I still believe peace and quiet are possible. I’m pretty sure the way I imagine my quiet time, though, is a little inappropriate. While some people dream in black and white, and some in color, I dream, day dream that is, in “Shut-Ups!” I don’t remember fantasizing quite as much…

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    I’m Just A Mama, Raising Rouge Rebels

    “Mama, I just killed a man. Put my cart against his and, ran him over now he’s dead.” He’ll be okay, though. I only killed him A little. Inside. His masculinity I mean. How dare I not move when he was in my way? I mean come on, haven’t I learned, by now, to be completely passive and submissive?  How could I have the audacity to take up Too much space? I’m a little dense when it comes to the etiquette of oppression, so I guess I’ll just ask to be excused for being bold enough to believe that men don’t own every walkway. Especially not in the grocery store. That’s our domain!…

  • Confess the Mess,  Featured,  Uncategorized

    7 Things Moms Are Afraid To Admit

    Tonight I went to yet another open house. Yay me. I love seeing my child’s progress, and the way they light up with pride as they show me around is really the only reason I go, but isn’t that what book bags are for? Send all that ish home. They can tell me all about it and then I can go ninja, and discard it while they sleep. Yes, I recycle about 90% of what my kids bring home, yes I do. I get that we are a social species. I guess I should enjoy the comradery, and the ice cream, and the beauty of a hundred people navigating narrow hallways, talking…

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    Are You Raising A Little Butthole?

    Yes, sometimes kids are butt-holes. In fact most of the time kids are but-tholes, until we successfully teach them Not to be butt-holes. Even when we achieve that, though, they will still have butt-hole moments. If it just so happens that your kid is one of those rare angels that’s never a butt-hole, please do not tell the rest of us. I know they are out there, and I will take a minute to be happy for you when all of my 4 kids are being non-butt-holes at the Same time. I wouldn’t hold my breath. I know you’re probably thinking, “Xavia, that’s a lot of “butt-holes”, but I’m trying to paint…

  • Featured,  Manage the Mess,  Uncategorized

    “I Ain’t Sorry” (5 Things You Should Never Apologize For)

    Beyonce ain’t sorry, why should I be? I’m not, am I? Am I really sorry for all the things I apologize for? No, I’m not! Are you? If I’m not sorry, though, why do the words fall out of my mouth like the peas I’m always trying to hide in my kids’ pasta? Once I really started paying attention to how much I say, “I’m sorry” I caught an attitude. Okay, so I didn’t catch an attitude, I always have one, but this one had more of a “punch you in the throat” type of vibe. “Sorry, I’m late. The baby pooped as I was headed out the door.” “Oh, sorry”,…

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    The Worst Kind Of Mom

    Hey mamas, miss me? Of course you did. Maybe. Sorta. A little. Luckily my reputation is built on a Throne of hot mess so no one has particularly high standards for me, and for that I’m pretty genius. I’d like to say I’ve been super busy with all these amazing projects and awesomeness and my Messiful just got pushed to the sideline, but the truth is, I’ve become the worst kind of mom. A lot of people would probably assume that a “Bad” mom is the worst kind. Forgetting to pick your kid up, then remembering after you’re already 20 minutes late. Sending in a chocolate almond bar with your…

  • Manage the Mess

    3 Things That Are Much Better Than Resolutions

    Are we all Over the whole New Year thing yet? It’s been over a week, so I’m sure we are. We’ve all eaten a sugar laden cupcake, or said the swear word we swore we wouldn’t, right? I don’t mean to make fun of resolutions. Well no, that’s Exactly what I mean to do, but I don’t mean for anyone to take it personal. I’m sure you bought that new, cute gym outfit with the best of Intentions. Let’s keep it real though, more than half of us make resolutions that simply make us miserable. They’re generally not anything we Want to do. They’re all chock full of Shoulds. So,…

  • Confess the Mess

    Depression: The Life of the PTA Kind

    This is the face of Depression.   No, it doesn’t look like the Eor, moppy face sad sack from the Zoloft commercial. Bouncing along, leading you to believe the blues are Readily recognizable on everyone shopping in their bed slippers and bathrobe. It might look like that, but more often than not it looks a lot like the Life of the party. The charismatic PTA mama (that is most definitely not me) who’s always the Center of attention. The one who spends so much energy entertaining everyone that she Crashes after each gathering.   “I tried calling Nikki to see if she wanted to do lunch, but she hasn’t returned…