Are you ready? This is parenting gold right here, so listen close! The only piece of parenting advice, I guarantee, you’ll ever need is this,
“Stop listening to anyone but your own intuition”
Your inner guidance system will never steer you wrong. All the advice you’ll ever need is sitting right there in your gut and, if you pay attention, your children will be better teachers than any suzy homemaker/mother expert you’ll ever meet. A lot of people will argue that parenting is so hard because there’s no instructions, but our kids are walking manuals. There may not be anything that makes parenting easier but if you follow their lead you’ll find you have more answers than you realize. A lot of lessons learned may come from doing things horribly wrong at first, my oldest child definitely caught some tough breaks, but if you can get over the discomfort of flopping from time to time you’ll do just fine. I’m not saying that there is never any value in educating yourself via classes, books, or even some great tips you’ll find right here with me ;-), but I am saying that no one approach works for every single child. Moms are completely customizable, squeezing yourself into a cookie cutout won’t serve you or your kids! If you find something that works you’ll feel it in your uterus, if not leave it right there and walk away. Trust me, you’ll regret impulse parenting purchases more than any indulgent ice cream/brownie combo you bought simply because the samples handed out at the grocery store all but gave you a mini orgasm. I think it’s awesome that your kid has a sophisticated pallet and will eat roasted asparagus with buttered lemon sauce but my youngest has all types of sensory and textural aversions and I have plenty of other battles that require my energy so for now I accept the fact that anything beyond applesauce and bottled green juice are just not gonna happen.
This may come as a shock, because of all the mothering accolades that adorn my nightstand, but I have no idea how to parent your child. YOU are the perfect parent for YOUR child! I may irreparably scar your children if they were left to endure my parenting skills, but luckily they’re safe and sound with you. Unless you have a healthy sense of humor my kids would probably drive you mad and then you would abandon them and they would be devastated; but lucky for them I’m in it for the long haul and their quirks simply serve as motivation for me to maintain all my therapeutic commitments as well as fuel for my writing; I take pretty good care of myself thanks to my little oddballs!
I’m not here to tell you how to be a good mom, you don’t need that; you know your own strengths and what you need to work on. I am hear to urge you to listen to that inner voice, we all have it. Listen to your kiddos as well, they’re not always the gentlest of teachers but, if you’re open, they’re definitely the most effective. If you combine the two and remember to make your own self care a priority, I have no doubt that you’ll do an amazing job.
So, to the know it all mom with all the answers and perfect kids, kindly keep your opinion to yourself. Oh, and please reach out; I’d like to take a selfie with you to prove you are not some mythical creature. To all the millions of other moms who struggle with self doubt, wondering if you’re doing it all wrong, “ You know what it takes to be the best mom that your child needs, you just have to trust that you do!”