• Uncategorized

    I’m Just A Mama, Raising Rouge Rebels

    “Mama, I just killed a man. Put my cart against his and, ran him over now he’s dead.” He’ll be okay, though. I only killed him A little. Inside. His masculinity I mean. How dare I not move when he was in my way? I mean come on, haven’t I learned, by now, to be completely passive and submissive?  How could I have the audacity to take up Too much space? I’m a little dense when it comes to the etiquette of oppression, so I guess I’ll just ask to be excused for being bold enough to believe that men don’t own every walkway. Especially not in the grocery store. That’s our domain!…

  • Confess the Mess,  Featured,  Mom of the Year Award

    The 10 Things That Will Likely Keep Me From Winning “Mother of the Year”

    10 Reasons Why I'll Never Win Mother of the Year

    I know I can’t be the only one who practices accepting an award. I’m very gracious, and my speeches always include a big “Thank you to my fans!” I never forget get choked up, waiving my hand in front of my eyes to hold back the tears. I’ve won Grammy’s and Oscars. I’ve even won a Tony. I’ve tried practicing my speech for winning Mother of the Year too but, somehow, in my imagination I never quite make it to the podium. I can’t say I’m surprised, though. There are 10 very distinct reasons I will likely lose the award before I ever have a chance to hold the golden pacifier,…