• Confess the Mess,  Uncategorized

    #notaholidaymom

      I’m #notaholidaymom, and that’s okay. For all my mamas who can’t get enough, don’t worry I’m not here to feud. If you have huge Tupperware bins filled with inflatables and reindeer, and you start counting down the Fridays til’ in August, We can still be cool. We don’t need to step into the gauntlet and throw down, it’s not that serious. I’m simply here to let the less than crafty mamas, who prefer to use the shits they give on things like chocolate and coffee, know that it’s okay. You do not have to pretend to like the holidays anymore. I’m here for you. I don’t like carving pumpkins! There, I…

  • Uncategorized

    5 Places You Might Find a M.F.F

    No, not a Mother Fu*@&#$ friend, a Messiful Friend Forever! I love that I can call my sister and ask her what she’s doing and she will say, “Wiping Butts” and I will Smile and my day will get just a Little Bit Brighter. Our mess just feels a lot less Ridiculous when we have someone to Share it with; someone who really Get’s It! If you don’t have one you really need to Get One! I’m blessed to have several sisters, 4 of them mothers. Unfortunately, all of them live pretty far away and while they’re a great long distance support you really do need someone who can Jump In and drop…

  • Uncategorized

    Smoothies = Self Love

    This post may contain affiliate links     Monday’s, for me, are madness, Messiful if you will. No one feels like jumping back into the weekly routine, least of all me. I love that they go to school, I’m not so crazy about the fact that I have to get them ready and take them. That’s why I make it a point to make nutrition a Priority. Otherwise, I’m cranky and hungry on top of all the hectic fun that seems to go with the day. But that’s not the Only reason. Smoothies = Self Love and gosh darn it, I deserve it. And, you do too! I could always…

  • Mama Says...,  The Kitchen Sink,  Uncategorized

    4 Signs You Have A Bed Bullies?

    This post may contain affiliate links “Next time one of my kids starts talking to me about something that’s “Not Fair”, I’m gonna crawl into their bed, in the middle of the night, and pee my pants!” Everyone has Something to say when you tell them you have bed bugs, “Throw everything away”, “Seal everything in plastic”, “Ewww, get away from me”.  Okay, so I’ve never actually had them (aside from a sketchy Comfort Inn experience in New Jersey about 9 years ago) so I don’t really know what people say (knocking on all kinds of wood right now). What I do know is that no one ever has any Helpful “how-tos”…

  • Confess the Mess,  Featured,  Uncategorized

    5 Times Your Kids Will Do Exactly As You Say

    I’d like to boast that my kids always do as I say, the first time, Without protest or complaint, but I’d be lying. I have to repeat myself more than I’d like to admit. I’m sure we all have that one Signature phrase we find ourselves saying multiple times a day. Once the clock strikes 7 I am just about ready to nix talking all together and take a vow of silence. There are exceptions though. There are times that they do exactly as I ask and I find myself maybe wishing that they hadn’t. Here are 5 times I wish my kids were a lot less than obedient. When I’m in the shower…

  • Uncategorized

    Being Human For Halloween

    It’s amazing what we don’t know until we do. Last year around this time I was entertaining my kids and their Endless costume ideas. I never take any of their suggestions serious until a few weeks before the 31st because I know committing too soon would only Frustrate me. They finally settled on Supergirl, a ninja, Little Red Riding Hood and what I can only describe as a metallic Jabbawockee. All naive in my little bubble I had no idea what was behind all the candy they collect. All those Snickers and Reese Cups, the Kit Kats and Nestle Crunch Bars, that stash that most parents eat late night after the…

  • Confess the Mess,  Featured,  Uncategorized

    The Time I Stalked That One Woman (And The 5 Things I Learned About Shopping Craigslist As A Mama)

    My daughter’s birthday is rolling around, but I think this year I’m going to hit the chill button a bit. I usually go all out trying to make it special, from party details to the perfect cake, outfit and that one special gift that will set the memory of the entire day. What usually happens, though, is I spend all this time, money and energy and their favorite part of everything ends up being the $5 pack of balloons that they pop around at the end of the party. Talk about a let down; I’ve definitely learned to tone it down. My oldest daughter, though, can be a bit loftier than my…

  • Manage the Mess,  Uncategorized

    A Parenting Gem (The Only Piece of Advice You’ll Ever Need)

    Are you ready? This is parenting gold right here, so listen close! The only piece of parenting advice, I guarantee, you’ll ever need is this, “Stop listening to anyone but your own intuition” Your inner guidance system will never steer you wrong. All the advice you’ll ever need is sitting right there in your gut and, if you pay attention, your children will be better teachers than any suzy homemaker/mother expert you’ll ever meet. A lot of people will argue that parenting is so hard because there’s no instructions, but our kids are walking manuals. There may not be anything that makes parenting easier but if you follow their lead…

  • Dish Towel Diaries,  Uncategorized

    9am Pancakes

    Dear Dish Towel,   Don’t these look delicious, all golden and fluffy? Well tell that to my kids, because if I make these bad boys before 9 am they simply do not get eaten. Isn’t feeding your child breakfast the epitome of being a “good mom”?! How can I send them on the bus without a full belly? Why won’t they eat?! I’ll tell you why, it’s too damn early!   If you haven’t guessed here’s where I go on a simple side rant. There’s nothing wrong with getting up early, if everything is all in tune within our bodies our internal clock will actually get us up right alongside the…

  • Confess the Mess,  Featured,  Mama Drama,  Uncategorized

    “I’ve Got Glitter In My Panties” And 6 Other Phrases That Don’t Mean What You Think They Do

    “I’ve got glitter in my panties!” No, there was not a party in my pants, although, that would have made for an amusing story 10 years ago. No, there was a crafting extravaganza that went south paw and once the girls were done hashing it out, over who’s pony picture had the prettier applique of sparkle, somehow I ended up wearing the aftermath in my underwear. “I slept like a baby” I slept like MY baby; who doesn’t quite sleep at all but rather, is sound for about an hour then begins to yell, not scream, not cry, yell, something like a donkey, until he grapples my breast into submission…