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    Will You Please Watch Your Kids

    For the past few years my daughter has dealt with an older girl who has a distinct aversion to kindness. You’d think they would get along, since my daughter has a mean streak of her own, but I think the age difference has a lot to do with efficacy of her intimidation. Well, one day my daughter came home very upset. Said girl offered her a dollar for a piece of gum, but snatched the dollar back after the exchange. My daughter spoke up for herself, and she was offered the gum back. That would have been an awesome self-care win, and a major confidence boost, had the gum not…

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    I Give Up

    I Give Up! Despite the bully barrage of positive memes that tell me not to. Despite the smile covered “shoulds” people offer without invitation. You can place a sound and safe bet, that anything following, “You should just” is probably bullshit advice. It’s very likely that it’s coming from someone completely Unaware of the path you walk. Those who have been in your shoes will share their story with helpful hopes. Those with True Empathy will listen, and sit in uncomfortable silence with you. Knowing that, sometimes, there’s nothing they can do, but share in that shitty place with you for a little while; so you know You’re Not Alone.…

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    What The Cup?!

    Cupping wasn’t even really on my radar until it was suggested to me mid massage, but I so wish I would have known about it a long time ago. So, here I am, putting it on your radar because it’s a self-care cup of awesome that you’ve gotta try. I’ve been getting regular massages for a little over a year to help with the recovery of my shoulder after surgery; two surgeries actually. It’s been super helpful, and luckily I’ve found someone who’s good at getting deep down in the tissue, but nothing compares to these amazing little cups that literally suck the stress right out of you. So what…

  • Confess the Mess,  Featured,  Uncategorized

    This Is Why Little Girls Never Get Tired Of Talking

    They never get tired because, as a little girl, I never got tired. I drove my mother nuts, so it only stands to reason that they won’t shut up until they drive me off the edge. Their daughters will extend the same verbal generosity, I’m sure. The cycle is genius. Well played karma, well played! Call it Wishful thinking, but I still believe peace and quiet are possible. I’m pretty sure the way I imagine my quiet time, though, is a little inappropriate. While some people dream in black and white, and some in color, I dream, day dream that is, in “Shut-Ups!” I don’t remember fantasizing quite as much…

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    I’m Just A Mama, Raising Rouge Rebels

    “Mama, I just killed a man. Put my cart against his and, ran him over now he’s dead.” He’ll be okay, though. I only killed him A little. Inside. His masculinity I mean. How dare I not move when he was in my way? I mean come on, haven’t I learned, by now, to be completely passive and submissive?  How could I have the audacity to take up Too much space? I’m a little dense when it comes to the etiquette of oppression, so I guess I’ll just ask to be excused for being bold enough to believe that men don’t own every walkway. Especially not in the grocery store. That’s our domain!…

  • Confess the Mess,  Featured,  Uncategorized

    7 Things Moms Are Afraid To Admit

    Tonight I went to yet another open house. Yay me. I love seeing my child’s progress, and the way they light up with pride as they show me around is really the only reason I go, but isn’t that what book bags are for? Send all that ish home. They can tell me all about it and then I can go ninja, and discard it while they sleep. Yes, I recycle about 90% of what my kids bring home, yes I do. I get that we are a social species. I guess I should enjoy the comradery, and the ice cream, and the beauty of a hundred people navigating narrow hallways, talking…

  • Mama Says...,  Uncategorized

    Are You Raising A Little Butthole?

    Yes, sometimes kids are butt-holes. In fact most of the time kids are but-tholes, until we successfully teach them Not to be butt-holes. Even when we achieve that, though, they will still have butt-hole moments. If it just so happens that your kid is one of those rare angels that’s never a butt-hole, please do not tell the rest of us. I know they are out there, and I will take a minute to be happy for you when all of my 4 kids are being non-butt-holes at the Same time. I wouldn’t hold my breath. I know you’re probably thinking, “Xavia, that’s a lot of “butt-holes”, but I’m trying to paint…

  • Featured,  Manage the Mess,  Uncategorized

    “I Ain’t Sorry” (5 Things You Should Never Apologize For)

    Beyonce ain’t sorry, why should I be? I’m not, am I? Am I really sorry for all the things I apologize for? No, I’m not! Are you? If I’m not sorry, though, why do the words fall out of my mouth like the peas I’m always trying to hide in my kids’ pasta? Once I really started paying attention to how much I say, “I’m sorry” I caught an attitude. Okay, so I didn’t catch an attitude, I always have one, but this one had more of a “punch you in the throat” type of vibe. “Sorry, I’m late. The baby pooped as I was headed out the door.” “Oh, sorry”,…

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    The Worst Kind Of Mom

    Hey mamas, miss me? Of course you did. Maybe. Sorta. A little. Luckily my reputation is built on a Throne of hot mess so no one has particularly high standards for me, and for that I’m pretty genius. I’d like to say I’ve been super busy with all these amazing projects and awesomeness and my Messiful just got pushed to the sideline, but the truth is, I’ve become the worst kind of mom. A lot of people would probably assume that a “Bad” mom is the worst kind. Forgetting to pick your kid up, then remembering after you’re already 20 minutes late. Sending in a chocolate almond bar with your…

  • Mama Says...,  The Kitchen Sink,  Uncategorized

    Can We Talk About The Giving Tree?

    Last week, I read a few books to my daughter’s 1st grade class; I’m famous like that. I think there might have been one or two students who had never heard it, but I think they were a little too shy to speak up. Most of them have heard it several times. At least 3 shouted out that it was their Favorite book, and I think that’s how a lot of people feel about it. The friend of mine who gave it to my son years ago loved it as well. I, on the other hand, never really follow the crowd and there’s something about that book that has just…