• Confess the Mess,  Featured,  Uncategorized

    This Is Why Little Girls Never Get Tired Of Talking

    They never get tired because, as a little girl, I never got tired. I drove my mother nuts, so it only stands to reason that they won’t shut up until they drive me off the edge. Their daughters will extend the same verbal generosity, I’m sure. The cycle is genius. Well played karma, well played! Call it Wishful thinking, but I still believe peace and quiet are possible. I’m pretty sure the way I imagine my quiet time, though, is a little inappropriate. While some people dream in black and white, and some in color, I dream, day dream that is, in “Shut-Ups!” I don’t remember fantasizing quite as much…

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    I’m Just A Mama, Raising Rouge Rebels

    “Mama, I just killed a man. Put my cart against his and, ran him over now he’s dead.” He’ll be okay, though. I only killed him A little. Inside. His masculinity I mean. How dare I not move when he was in my way? I mean come on, haven’t I learned, by now, to be completely passive and submissive?  How could I have the audacity to take up Too much space? I’m a little dense when it comes to the etiquette of oppression, so I guess I’ll just ask to be excused for being bold enough to believe that men don’t own every walkway. Especially not in the grocery store. That’s our domain!…

  • Confess the Mess,  Featured,  Uncategorized

    7 Things Moms Are Afraid To Admit

    Tonight I went to yet another open house. Yay me. I love seeing my child’s progress, and the way they light up with pride as they show me around is really the only reason I go, but isn’t that what book bags are for? Send all that ish home. They can tell me all about it and then I can go ninja, and discard it while they sleep. Yes, I recycle about 90% of what my kids bring home, yes I do. I get that we are a social species. I guess I should enjoy the comradery, and the ice cream, and the beauty of a hundred people navigating narrow hallways, talking…

  • Mama Says...,  Uncategorized

    Are You Raising A Little Butthole?

    Yes, sometimes kids are butt-holes. In fact most of the time kids are but-tholes, until we successfully teach them Not to be butt-holes. Even when we achieve that, though, they will still have butt-hole moments. If it just so happens that your kid is one of those rare angels that’s never a butt-hole, please do not tell the rest of us. I know they are out there, and I will take a minute to be happy for you when all of my 4 kids are being non-butt-holes at the Same time. I wouldn’t hold my breath. I know you’re probably thinking, “Xavia, that’s a lot of “butt-holes”, but I’m trying to paint…

  • Featured,  Manage the Mess,  Uncategorized

    “I Ain’t Sorry” (5 Things You Should Never Apologize For)

    Beyonce ain’t sorry, why should I be? I’m not, am I? Am I really sorry for all the things I apologize for? No, I’m not! Are you? If I’m not sorry, though, why do the words fall out of my mouth like the peas I’m always trying to hide in my kids’ pasta? Once I really started paying attention to how much I say, “I’m sorry” I caught an attitude. Okay, so I didn’t catch an attitude, I always have one, but this one had more of a “punch you in the throat” type of vibe. “Sorry, I’m late. The baby pooped as I was headed out the door.” “Oh, sorry”,…

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    The Worst Kind Of Mom

    Hey mamas, miss me? Of course you did. Maybe. Sorta. A little. Luckily my reputation is built on a Throne of hot mess so no one has particularly high standards for me, and for that I’m pretty genius. I’d like to say I’ve been super busy with all these amazing projects and awesomeness and my Messiful just got pushed to the sideline, but the truth is, I’ve become the worst kind of mom. A lot of people would probably assume that a “Bad” mom is the worst kind. Forgetting to pick your kid up, then remembering after you’re already 20 minutes late. Sending in a chocolate almond bar with your…

  • Mama Says...,  The Kitchen Sink,  Uncategorized

    Can We Talk About The Giving Tree?

    Last week, I read a few books to my daughter’s 1st grade class; I’m famous like that. I think there might have been one or two students who had never heard it, but I think they were a little too shy to speak up. Most of them have heard it several times. At least 3 shouted out that it was their Favorite book, and I think that’s how a lot of people feel about it. The friend of mine who gave it to my son years ago loved it as well. I, on the other hand, never really follow the crowd and there’s something about that book that has just…

  • Featured,  Mama Says...,  Manage the Mess,  Uncategorized

    The Secret To Giving Mama The Perfect Gift

    This post may contain affiliate links   It’s that time of year again, and everyone is scrambling for the Perfect gifts for everyone on their list. I’m not for Black Friday or all the madness that comes along with excessive shopping, but I do think there’s something nice about a thoughtful gift for those close to you. I think we all intend to put a little Extra love and care into what we give the moms in our lives, but do you really know how to Wow a mom? Do you know how to nail it on the head, no matter what your budget? Well, you’re in luck. I just happen…

  • Featured,  Manage the Mess,  Uncategorized

    Pour Yourself A Messiful Mama

    This post may contain affliate links The “Messiful Mama” is a little cocktail I came up with one night when I was finally home from a 4 day stay at the hospital with my daughter. I’m sure you can imagine, when I got back I was worn out and stressed out; a bit of a Mess.  Kind of like how a of people are feeling about this election. It’s like a long drawn out hospital stay. You’re sick, uncomfortable, waiting for the doctor to finally give you a diagnosis so you can Go home and recover. Well, we’re on our way home. One way or another, tomorrow morning it will…

  • Confess the Mess,  Uncategorized

    #notaholidaymom

      I’m #notaholidaymom, and that’s okay. For all my mamas who can’t get enough, don’t worry I’m not here to feud. If you have huge Tupperware bins filled with inflatables and reindeer, and you start counting down the Fridays til’ in August, We can still be cool. We don’t need to step into the gauntlet and throw down, it’s not that serious. I’m simply here to let the less than crafty mamas, who prefer to use the shits they give on things like chocolate and coffee, know that it’s okay. You do not have to pretend to like the holidays anymore. I’m here for you. I don’t like carving pumpkins! There, I…