Manage the Mess

3 Things That Are Much Better Than Resolutions

Are we all Over the whole New Year thing yet? It’s been over a week, so I’m sure we are. We’ve all eaten a sugar laden cupcake, or said the swear word we swore we wouldn’t, right? I don’t mean to make fun of resolutions. Well no, that’s Exactly what I mean to do, but I don’t mean for anyone to take it personal. I’m sure you bought that new, cute gym outfit with the best of Intentions. Let’s keep it real though, more than half of us make resolutions that simply make us miserable. They’re generally not anything we Want to do. They’re all chock full of Shoulds.

So, take off the waist trainer, step away from the detox smoothie, and take a deep breath. I’ve got 3 things that are Much better than resolutions!

Vision Boards

Instead of trying to commit to something that doesn’t even Fit into your life right now, how about using the fresh energy of the New Year to put some real thought into your goals and intentions for the year? Maybe you’re not ready to go full on Organic-gluten free-non GMO-vegan and start making cookies from the perfect almond/coconut flour blend. You should though, my brother in-law makes chocolate cookies for my sister, who’s grain free, and I swear for goodness they are the Best thing chocolate I’ve ever eaten! I don’t joke about chocolate, they’re the real deal! Back to the huge diet change, though. The one you considered while you were hanging with the muse that is New Year’s Eve cocktails. Be realistic, start where you can. Maybe that means experimenting with one or two healthy meals a day, or maybe adding in a veggie loaded salad a few times a week. Maybe it just means, using a fun little app like “Waterlog” to make sure you’re drinking enough water. Huge abrupt change, doesn’t sit well with our psyche, and unless there is an emergent need it’s Not necessary. You’re so much more likely to stick to smaller steps, and a vision board is a great way to Stay on track. You have to sit down and put some thought and creativity into it, so there’s a good chance it will be full of things you actually Want to do, or change, and having a huge visual serves as a great reminder. Have fun with it. You could even get a bunch of mamas together and use it as an excuse to entertain. Throw a vision board  party. My sister Olivia is big on vision boards and she’s got some great tips on How To Throw A Vision Board Party. 

Monthly Challenge

Give yourself Mini goals for every month! A month is much less intimidating than a year. I have all around commitment issues, (I actually got hives once when an employer asked if I was in agreement with signing a 2 year contract; in the middle of the interview!) so my body doesn’t reject 30 days the same way it does 365. A few years back I did a No Fear monthly challenge and I actually loved it more than any other way to go about self-improvement. Each month I identified one thing that terrified me, and I forced myself to do it, including starting my blog, and chopping my hair super short. I loved the cut, via my favorite curl-master stylist Jordan, of Mint Salon, but turned out super short wasn’t my thing. My curls looked amazing, though, and my hair was healthy again, but none of that mattered.

I sat in that chair, and I did it! Each time I conquered what I was certain would be a horror moment, I felt so empowered, and I really did become a much more fearless version of myself. (I definitely could have applied for my “Bad Ass” card that year.) Don’t overwhelm yourself. We’re moms. We’re already overwhelmed, All the time! Give yourself a break and take it one month at a time.

Step-by-Step Guides

Most of us don’t have much trouble identifying what we want, but How in the world do we get there? I would really love to have a green thumb. As it stands I’m kinda the place where plants go to die. I’m gonna learn to garden one of these days, but I have absolutely No idea where to even begin. I could pick up a few books or just dive in and experiment with some seeds, but that’s not really fair to the seeds, who will surely wilt as soon as they begin to bloom. Wouldn’t it be so much Easier if someone gave me a step-by-step guide? Holding my hand and walking me through like the horticultural toddler that I am. Well, there are experts for just about everything, and Sharing their how-to knowledge is what they do. Take your Mommy Mess for example. I’m sure you’ve been thinking about beautifying it. If you want to go from Mess to Messiful in 30 Days, then my self-care guide would be perfect. I break down how to embrace your mess and use self-care to be your best-mom self. All shameless plugging aside, though, there really is the perfect guide out there for whatever you’re trying to get in to. Take one on, then Reassess your goal once you complete all the steps.

Ditch the resolutions. Trust me, they’re not worth the headache and the guilt that follows when we fall short. Take a different approach with one of these three alternatives and 2017 could be the year you quit being so hard on yourself and Start living should-free.

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Hi, I'm Xavia, The Messiful Mama. I am the mother of 4 amazing, spirited children who save my life everyday. I pour myself into parenting and, although, there are plenty of days where that effort is full of chaos and drama and sometimes even hair pulling, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.